SwanneSong

Susan Anne Johnson, born June 22 1944; died Su Swanne on February 4 2022 in Tidewell Hospice House of Port Charlotte, FL after a long ordeal with ALS. She was surrounded by her family and the care of hospice staff. Given the profound difficulties that ALS brought her, it is with some relief, yet intense sadness to bid farewell to such a unique spirit.

Daughter of Leo and Margaret Johnson of Arlington, VA and oldest of three sisters, Susan is survived by her sister Jacqueline and youngest sister Karen. Susan is also survived by her son Jeffrey Keister, her daughter Leslie Allyn, and her husband Stanton Scott.

Sue’s individuality is well known among those who loved her. She graduated from McLean High School and Virginia Polytechnic Institute in Virginia, majoring in English. In 1966 she married H. Rucker Keister III, then moved to Norfolk, VA while Rucker served in the US Navy during the Vietnam conflict. Susan served as a social worker in Norfolk while raising her two children in the 1970s and 1980s, doing everything she could for the enrichment of their lives. She insisted on keeping a safe, healthy, and empowered home for her family.

By midlife she had earned a license for private investigation, hypnotherapy, and dove deeply into spiritual knowledge, particularly Native American, as well as astrology and more. Her quest for knowledge about her roots led her to an enormous research project on genealogy.

Following her parents’ deaths, and knowing that she wanted more than to be a care taker of others, she divorced, then took on gaining a Master’s degree in urban planning at the University of Virginia, graduating in 1995. She felt the call of the West, and began working for the Planning Department for the city of Denver.

At last, she found a window of opportunity when she realized she could take an early retirement. She sold her condo, bought an RV, and with her friend Don set out for the unknown in Arizona, Nevada, New Mexico, and Texas. Her travels are well documented, as she loved the journey, and enjoyed researching her family history.

Sue hung up her rig for a while and bought a home in Tucson, AZ where she could settle in, have friends and regular medical care. It’s here that she met Stan Scott, who she traveled with and eventually married in 2018. She began a business in real estate and in particular believed in helping seniors find good homes.

Sue moved to Port Charlotte, FL in 2019. It was her hope to spend the rest of her days lounging by her backyard pool and loving on her cats. She did not know how short those days would be.

Her wit and independence was ultimately challenged by aggressive ALS which took her body from her.

She is a mixed metaphor. One may find more of that mix in that which her kids bring forth.

Upon her ALS diagnosis, it was Su’s idea to gather some favorite music to play as she passed. Each song has a specific memory or meaning for her. The entire playlist was played on the morning she passed. Before she slipped away, she was shaking her shoulders to the music.

MAMA SU’S PLAYLIST ON SPOTIFY

 

Lakota Prayer

Great Mystery,
teach me how to trust my heart,
my mind, my intuition,
my inner knowing,
the senses of my body,
the blessings of my spirit.

Teach me to trust these things
so that I may enter
my sacred space
and love beyond my fear
and thus walk in balance
with the passing of
each glorious sun.

Immortality

Do not stand at my
grave and weep,
I am not there; I do not sleep.
I am a thousand winds that blow,
I am the diamond glints on snow,
I am the sun on ripened grain,
I am the gentle autumn rain.

When you awaken
in the morning’s hush
I am the swift uplifting rush
Of quiet birds in circling flight.
I am the soft starlight at night.
Do not stand at my grave and cry,
I am not there;
I did not die.

– Clare Harner

Wild Geese

You do not have to be good.
You do not have to walk
on your knees
for a hundred miles
through the desert, repenting.
You only have to let the
soft animal of your body
love what it loves.
                     Tell me about despair, yours,
and I will tell you mine.
Meanwhile the world goes on.

Meanwhile the sun
and the clear pebbles
of the rain are moving across the landscapes,
over the prairies
and the deep trees,
the mountains and the rivers
Meanwhile the wild geese,
high in the clean blue air,
are heading home again.

Whoever you are,
no matter how lonely,
the world offers itself
to your imagination,
calls to you like the wild geese,
harsh and exciting—
over and over
announcing your place
in the family of things.

The moment she passed, a large gust of wind made the trees dance.
A few butterflies and birds were spotted. She is now free.

Swan: Grace

    “Little Swan flew through the Dreamtime, looking for the future. She rested for a moment in the coolness of the pond, looking for a way to find the entry point to the future. This was a moment of confusion for Swan, as she knew that she had happened into the Dreamtime by accident. This was her first flight alone and she was a bit concerned by the Dreamtime landscape.
    As Swan looked high above Sacred Mountain, she saw the biggest swirling black hole she had ever seen. Dragonfly came flying by, and Swan stopped him to ask about the black hole. Dragonfly said, “Swan, that is the doorway to the other planes of imagination. I have been guardian of the illusion for many, many moons. If you want to enter there, you would have to ask permission and earn the right.
    Swan was not so sure that she wanted to enter the black hole. She asked Dragonfly what was necessary for her to earn entry. Dragonfly replied, “You must be willing to accept whatever the future holds as it is presented, without trying to change Great Spirit’s plan.”
    Swan looked at her ugly little duckling body and then answered, “I will be happy to abide by Great Spirit’s plan. I won’t fight the cut-rents of the black hole. I will surrender to the flow of the spiral and trust what I am shown.” Dragonfly was very happy with Swan’s answer and began to spin the magic to break the pond’s illusion.
    Suddenly, Swan was engulfed by a whirlpool in the center of the pond. Swan reappeared many days later, but now she was graceful and white and long-necked.
    Dragonfly was stunned! “Swan, what happened to you!” he exclaimed. Swan smiled and said, “Dragonfly, I learned to surrender my body to the power of Great Spirit and was taken to where the future lives. I saw many wonders high on Sacred Mountain and because of my faith and my acceptance I have been changed. I have learned to accept the state of grace.”
    Dragonfly was very happy for Swan. Swan told Dragonfly many of the wonders beyond the illusion. Through her healing and her acceptance of the state of grace, she was given the right to enter the Dreamtime.
    So it is that we learn to surrender to the grace of the rhythm of the universe, and slip from our physical bodies into the Dreamtime. Swan medicine teaches us to be at one with all planes of consciousness, and to trust in Great Spirit’s protection.”

~ from Medicine Cards by Jamie Sams and David Carson

(This memorial was created with love by Sue’s children, Leslie and Jeff.)

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About

It is at the edge where I learn the most – the times when I am up against the wall and must choose, when I am afraid to take that leap off the cliff to my destiny and best life.  It is at the edges where the wounds begin to heal.   Even when I’ve cropped photos to get the best image of a photographed subject, there is life on the edge that was cut off.  The photo here is an example.  It was cropped from the image of a series of interstate interchanges in Texas, taken from a riding car on an Amtrak train.  The subject of the photo was the ‘spaghetti’ appearance of the interchange, and yet, when cropped for a header, the image brought to light the presence of an auto and sign, not seen before.

I can be on the edge of my seat with excitement or fear.  I can take the edge off of pain by taking an aspirin.  Anger can set my teeth on edge.  When I look from the edge, in multiple ways, I gain a fuller perspective about things.  And that is what this blog is about – finding new perspectives for myself, and sharing them with others.

SwanneSong is a space for expressing my deepest thoughts and feelings about things that are happening in the world and in my life today. Here I intend to offer my views about changes that need to be made for all of the world’s citizens to feel more at home on this planet.  I expect to share not only the serious and mundane, but also joyful and humorous aspects of life, again from my point of view.  And of course there is no escaping the times when I will stand on my soapbox to shout out about something I feel is not in the best interest of human or other sentient beings.

In December 2020 I was diagnosed with ALS, Amyotrophic Lateral Sclerosis, otherwise known as Lou Gehrig’s Disease. (Lou Gehrig) This rare Motor Neuron Disease (MND) is not curable; it is always fatal. After being away from SwanneSong for a while, I thought it was important to share my journey with this disease.

Many people have no idea about ALS and how it shuts down the body into paralysis and takes one’s last breath.  And many people have no idea how valiantly those who have been stricken with ALS live as fully as possible to the end. Stephen Hawking is probably the most well-known and exceptional example. 

So here I am, walking at the edge of my life, looking at things more closely, and making a record for others.